Upholding Insanity
by Silenceisdead
Summary: Roxas loves Axel. Axel loves Roxas, but so does Lea. What do you do when your love has another personality? What about when the personality tortures you and causes your life to fall closer to the end? Warning! Contains blood, mild-gore, and non-con
1. Chapter 1

Upholding Insanity

Chapter-0

The prelude.

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Stockholm Syndrome: When the abused bond to their abusers as a means to endure violence.

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Sky blue eyes blink open slowly, a small sliver of sun shining into them as they slowly adjust to the surroundings. A wave of confusion passed through the boy. Nothing is recognizable. A surprised squeak escapes him as a long arm wraps around his waist and tug him up to sit. Flash of red.

"Axel..." breathed with a sigh.

A hand tightly encircles his elbow, fingers bruising.

"Ever wondered how far you'd have to press down?"

The small thin razor slowly slides under the pale skin of a soft wrist. The arm jerks and a small cry is heard.

"Shhh don't make a sound, my little lamb." Eyes, green, like acid flash up from the blood slowly starting to well from the split skin. They widen as a wide wild Cheshire grin stretches across a sharp face. He tugs lightly, the end of the intrusive metal catching and tearing skin as it's forced unevenly up along old scars towards the crook of a gangly elbow, long thin fingers tightening. Eyes wide in terror, clouded with pain, and sparkling with unshed tears look up also.

Dulled vibrant blue meet the crazed electric green.

"Lea...?" The small blonde questions uncertainly.

The red head's grin widen as he leans, tongue darting out, bringing up crimson life. "Roxas, my little lamb chop, Axel, you see, decided to take a small rest. I took over for him that's all." Blood now flowing freely, staining the pristine sheets. Pink tongue slides into the deep wound. The rusted blade is tossed across the room blood splattering out where it lands. "I missed you anyways."

Roxas cries out. Teeth sink into the wound, tearing it as Lea's bloody hand fists harshly into blood spikes. "Missed your taste..." He adds face stained with crimson.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

Chapter has been dedicated to terra hotaru. Thank you babe!! The review was my very first and made me smile and get all giggly. And Orcadia thank you for being my second reviewer! And thank you pride1289, lovetheHams, terra hotaru (hehe3), Yamashina-chan, Kikyo Uchiha, Siddeeqahfan, Orcadia, and Yukinojo14 for the Alert saves. And love for triptic and Torikia, for added this story to their fave list33

Thank you all of you and whom ever else is reading this! Hehe here is chapter two.

Upholding Insanity

Chapter-1

Always Smiling.

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Dissociative Identity Disorder- A condition in which a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or **alters**), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

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Cerulean eyes shut tightly, desperately wanting to vanish. Finger nails clawed at the man's hands, trying to stop him with no avail. "S-stop it!"

There was so much blood. A feeling of vertigo came with the loss. "Shhh, your so looud now." The redhead drawls out, fascinated by the way the blood just kept well up out of the deep cuts. He carefully lifts the blonde carrying him into a bright sterile bathroom placing him onto the counter. "Axel might try to keep me away if I can't fix you." He frowns pouting as he pulled out a shoebox.

"You were bad today." Green eyes look at the scratches on his hand. Suddenly it snaps out, striking the blonde across his face, leaving a large smear of blood. Roxas flinched. He can feel the warm leaving the swath of crimson that stained his pale face. He raises a hand to wipe it out of his eyes. The blue of his eyes, even as dull as it was, stood in such brilliant contrast to the vermilion blood.

"Now hold still, little lamb, I have to stitch you back together." he pulls a large curved needle from the box grabbing Roxas's wrist and pulling it out so he could see as he leaned down and gently laps up the blood. He presses the needle into the boys arm over and over, quick precise movements a surgeon would admire. He used none of the numbing drugs in the box, even though it needed. The blonde sat in bitter silence. He fought back tears; he wouldn't give in that easily. He was trembling terribly, watching the needle swim in and out of his pale skin with such practiced precision. It hurt, of course, but by now the pain had dulled to a soreness in his mind. As excruciating as it was, his mind was the part that was going numb, and that was enough to hold onto the miniscule scraps of sanity he had left.

He quickly finishes and ties the last stitch, his wild smile returning to his face and he leans forward licking the drying blood from Roxas's cheek. His hand coming up to hold his chin firmly as his tongue runs over the pale skin. The boy flinches again, shrinking away from his hold. A shudder races up his spine, causing his hair to stand on end. He tries to turn away, the action utterly impulsive

Lea jerks his face to the side growling, a scowl was on his face. "Don't... turn away from me." he then smiles and licks over the blondes eye removing the blood from around it. "I think we need a bath. You are completely filthy." He quickly turns, flicking on the faucet. "Little lamb's fleece no longer soft and white." he sings grabbing Roxas shirt and pulling it forcefully over a blonde head.

Roxas bit his lip; he wanted so badly to argue, but was it worth the risk? He wanted Axel to come back...

"I don't want to take a bath." he says, blue eyes looking up at Lea defiantly, wondering if he'd let it go.

"Ah! Button, but look at you." the red head gestures to him before just grabbing him and roughly dropping him into the ceramic bath, most of his clothing still on. He scowled, mentally grateful that he at least had his clothes on... or most of them anyway. He was already wet, might as well scrub away the blood...

Suddenly the tall man freezes grabbing his head. "NO, not your turn." he shouts to the air Verdigris eyes widening. "NONONONO" he screams before suddenly going silent, eyes loosing their hysterical wild look.

A frown stretches down across his face as he looked down and around at the blood.

"Oh no..." he whispers flipping around to stare at the soaked bloody blonde, pure anguish on his face.

Inhumanly vibrant blue eyes flickered up at the man. "...Axel?" he asks quietly, afraid to be wrong, yet very hopeful. He just sat there in the tub, water quickly turning a soft shade of pink, growing darker and darker. Axel drops to his knees and leans into the tub grabbing the blondes face touching his forehead to Roxas's.

"What did I do this time? Please tell me." he whispered terrified. "Rox...?"

He was silent for a moment, but it felt like an eternity to Axel. "...I-... I'm okay." he assures the panicking redhead. Roxas reaches up to run his fingers though fiery hair. He didn't say anything else. There was a lump in his throat; he couldn't speak even if he wanted to. "Show me please?" axels leaned into the touch, green eyes now dulled and a deeper shade. "I'm so sorry." he whispered wetting his hand and running it through bloody spikes, pressing against the scalp looking for any cuts or bumps

"It's not your fault." Roxas said, ignoring the request. He hoped to get away with not showing him. He didn't want to worry the redhead and Axel was always so quick to blaming himself.

"I'm okay, really."

"Not with that amount of blood you are." he couldn't decide to smile or frown as nothing became apparent on the blondes head. He cups his hands dumping water over the blonde's spikes to rinse the blood and saliva on his face. Roxas forces a smile. "Don't worry, just some scratches..." he says, keeping as much of the stitched arm below the murky water as he possibly could.

"You're alright though?" he asks the redhead before he could question the blonde any further. Axel looks over as much of Roxas as he could before sighing and finally acknowledging his hand, he lifts it dipping it into the water and scrubbing at his skin before pulling it back up to inspect the shallow scratches.

"They won't even need band-aids." he grabs a washcloth dipping it and gently wiping over the blondes cheeks, noticing the red hand mark frowning. Roxas raises his eyebrows, realizing what Axel was looking it. He looks away. "That one was my fault." he says, momentarily forgetting the stitches on his wrist and arm. He reaches up with that hand, touching the red mark. He could feel that it would become a bruise.

"How was it-" he stops short noticing the tiny tight stitches down the length of Roxas's arm. He quickly grabs the boy's hand stretching out his arm to look over his arm. "Rox..." his face grows long finger running over the stitches gently. "I'm so sorry" The boy winces when Axel grabs his hand. "It's okay Axel. They aren't all that deep... And he stitched them up pretty well so they should heal fast." Blood was still seeping through the stitches but it had slowed enough. He smiles faintly, pulling his arm back away from Axel. He gently cups Roxas's uninjured cheek pulling him closer to place a kiss on his lips gently. "How much blood am I covered in?" he asks suddenly only just thinking of it.

Roxas smirks. "You'd better come in here too. You make me look clean." he says, smiling fondly. Roxas could always smile...No matter what. He scoots over, making room for Axel in the water.

The man pulls his shirt off and tugs his pants off stepping into the surprisingly warm water and sitting crossed leg. He smiled at Roxas unable not too as he leans forward and kisses Roxas's injured cheek gently. "Help me get it offf" he whined. He pecks Axel on the lips and starts to rinse away the blood.

Roxas stared at Axels hand a moment. Just minutes ago it was causing him so much pain... But now it was so gentle, so caring.

To him, Axel and Lea were two separate people... Even if it was the same hand, same face...Everything.

Axel gently plucks the washcloth from Roxas's stopped hand and gently starts to clean the boy off. He grimaces at the long jagged mark running along the length of his thin arm; he washes around it taking extreme care not to touch the red sore skin. "I'm clean enough." Roxas protests, taking it back and scrubbing the blood from the man's body.

"Roxas..." axel leans around him flicking on the shower. He yelps slightly at the sudden ice cold water pouring on him before it quickly even out. "I'm getting you as clean as...something white and sparkly"

Roxas chuckles at the redhead's oh so eloquent response. "Fine, fine, take it." he says, giving the cloth back. "I'll just use my hands~" he purrs, running his fingers up Axels side with a smirk. He shivers, taking a second to find out that he had the washcloth. "You're slick." he purrs unplugging the drain and starting to wash down Roxas's chest. "You have no idea~" Roxas muses over the thought. He rubs the blood away from his shoulder tentatively. "It's on you're face too ya' know" he comments.

"wha...wha?" axel honestly didn't want to know why it was on his face. He tugs out Roxas's legs gently, running the cloth down them and back up to the hem of his shorts.

"Blood. On face. Are we speaking the same language?" Roxas teases, bright blue eyes following the cloth. He paused for a moment. "Lemme get it for you." he says, gesturing for Axel to lean closer. He does holding up the cloth helpfully, his hand resting on Roxas's thin hip. "Need this?"

"Nope I got it." he says, wiping the red from his cheek. Axel tries to straighten out but Roxas stops him. "I think I missed a spot." he says, pulling him back down and into a kiss. Axel presses closer to the blonde, dropping the washcloth and sliding his hand into blonde hair. He deepened the kiss gently. Always gentle with Roxas. The blonde wraps his arms around the man's neck and closed his eyes. He tilts his head to the side, allowing Axel to deepen the kiss. He thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of the warm water while he kissed him. "He's always so careful..." he thinks.

Axel parts his lips slipping his tongue into Roxas's mouth.

He jerked back suddenly tasting the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. "Oh god oh god I'm sorry I shouldn't have." he groans now that he had noticed it, it was over powering. He closes his eyes leaning back opening his mouth slightly, letting it fill with water. Roxas wrinkled his nose up. He hated the taste of blood. "It's alright, I hadn't thought of that." the blonde replies, wiping his lips on his wrist. "Well... I think were clean enough?"

Axel chuckles, the sound coming out gargled from the water. He spits out the red water and stands. "I'm all pruny." he says turning the shower off and standing up. He holds a hand out to Roxas. He takes it gratefully, stepping onto the pristine white tiles. "You get us some towels; I'll get the clothes and wash the dirty ones and the sheets." Roxas says. The redhead hums before shaking his head. "I'll get the laundry, and some towels. You can sit down and dry off." he opened the small closet doors pulling out a pair of fluffy white towels. He flopped one onto Roxas's head the other wrapped around the blondes shoulders. He pulled out another taking off his boxers and wrapping the towel around his waist. "Ill go get those sheets, come out once you're undressed." Roxas rolls beautiful blue eyes. "Okay, but I don't want you to do everything..." he says, toweling off his hair. IT was flat and straight while it was wet, but already starting to curl upward into spikes. The older smiles at the sight as he walks into the other room his own hair slicked back still spiking out in odd places. He winced at the amount of blood. "Shallow..." he groans peeling off all the sheets and stuffing them into a trashcan, he had stopped washing them a long time ago after realizing the stains don't go away,

Roxas still didn't know. He smiled a little... He was always smiling...He held the towel to the stitched up gash in his arm and then peeled it away. It left a perfect dotted line in the same winding, torn pattern as the cut. He tossed the towel aside and used the other one, drying off his torso and then removing his clothes and replacing them with it. He walked out into the other room.

Axel was just finishing up with the new sheets; towel wrapped around his head and just boxers and pajama bottoms on. "I set some clothes onto the dresser." axel couldn't help the small smile that stretched across his face as he watched Roxas. He always smiled, no matter what happened.

~End Chapter two. ~

A/N-

I'm beyond excited. I can't believe the prelude got such great response!! Makes me feel horribly giggly inside. Prelude was written by me, and this and a few more chapters are collaborations with my girlfriend.


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